Posted by
Peppermint on Monday, March 05, 2007 7:53:42 PM
Gathered in Hillary’s war room in an undisclosed location.
Present: Terry McAliffe, Howard Wolfson, and Hillary Clinton
Wolfson: Terry, get her to stop will ya? Ever since we got back from Selma she’s been out of her mind, talking like a black woman.
McAllife: I don’t have any control over that woman.
Hillary: God be saved, ya’ll hear me naw! We all not gonna rest until we’s brought down evey last publican. God show us the light and ya’ll bless us in yall mercy.
Wolfson: Get Bill on the phone would ya? This is getting out of hand. One week she’s screeching all over the place because I told Obama to apologize and now she’s acting like a black woman. She can’t make up her mind what she is.
McAlliffe: I told you this job was no piece of cake. Just ask Bill. He lives with her. Poor man. No wonder he runs around.
Hillary: Ya’ll walk in the shada of de Lawd. Ya’ll walk that walk of peace and y'all overcome the wraith of de repubs who want to smake dawn ya’ll so’s ya’ll caint vote. Y'all won’t let thait happen. No! No! We won the rights to vote and we aint gonna let dem takes it aways from us.
Terry dials Bill.
McAliffe: Bill, you got to come over here and do something with Hillary.
Bill: Now, ya’ll know I can’t do nothing with that woman. Why you bothering me?
What do you think I pay you for?
McAllife: Bill, I’m begging you. She thinks she’s a black woman now. All she does is walk around talking the jive talk. It was bad enough having Michael Jackson being the only black boy to grow up to be a rich white woman. Now we got a rich white woman turning into a bible thumping black preacher.
Bill: Just cool your heels, Terry. She’ll come around. It’s just a phase.
(Oooh. Watch those teeth honey.)
McAllife: What did you say Bill? What teeth are you talking about? Is she going to bite me? What, what are you saying?
Bill: That was nothing, Terry. I was just thinking out loud.
(OK, honey. I'll be off the phone in a minute)
McAllife: OK. But you’ve got to do something. You know how to de-stress her.
Bill: I’m not having sex with that woman, Terry. Not on your life! Now, you go do whatever it takes to get her calmed down or I won’t be footing this bill for her little project. President!! What the hell was she thinking anyway?
McAliffe: I wasn’t’ suggesting that you have sex with her, Bill.
Bill: You get paid the bucks. Figure it out on your own, I’m busy. Can't you understand
I'm busy with something else at the moment.
Bill hangs up.
Wolfson: Well, Terry, is he coming over? I hope soon. She’s gonna crack.
McAllife: No, he’s busy. Handle it Wolfson. You’re the one with the big ideas. You’re the one who got her started on the crack up. I’m not taking any blame for that. None of this would be happening if you hadn’t demanded Obama make an apology for that fool in Hollywood. Now, you take charge and get her out of this.
Hillary: Naw Lawd we’s be fightin and shovlin, and mowin, and washin, and we’s not gonna be de white man’s slave no mo, no mo, no mo……hit de road jack and don’t come back no mo, no mo, no mo......