Chapter IV

May 17, 2009

Last night two members of Last Patriots Standing, Goshawk and expressit, rode in from Kansas. They brought news of Joe. He’s still alive and my heart was gladdened. They brought with them one of the great freedom writers of our time, Sheila. She is joining our group and will be of great comfort to all of us with her capacity for optimism.

Our compatriots, Goshawk and expressit, joined up with other conservatives. They rode into Kansas to break our men out of this prison. Along the way they were joined by many true and loyal Americans, such as Buck, DavidMac, Fletch, Willi Beax, Dash, Primus, Magnificus, Dude, Scottie, pineknot, Cynewulf, DD, MyOpine and many others.

As the story goes one of the socialists, Jim Webb, was the commandant of this prison and his malice had unleashed itself on so many of the prisoners. Resentment and rage quickened among the men and they were waiting, plotting the day they could overtake the burly, loud mouth curmudgeon.

At night, before this draconian Webb took leave for home, and with the help of Chuck Schumer, he tortured the prisoners. Chuck Schumer would hold a gun on the prisoner while Webb had his way with the man. He would take a prisoner out of his cell and beat him mercilessly. With each fist fall onto the man’s face, he would state, “take that you Bushite”. Afterwards, when the men were lying depleted on the cold concrete floors of the prison, Webb would prance around with women’s underwear on his head, believing he was torturing them. If he had only known that the true torture would have been him reading chapters from one of his pederast books.

It seemed it was never enough that the socialists had killed Bush in that air tragedy. Webb’s fury could not be quelled. Yes, even though Jim Webb’s son was removed from Iraq, Webb could not contain his fury. You see, after the troops were shipped to Okinawa, China mistook that as a threat, bombed Tokyo, and attacked Taiwan, just to show the Great Imperialists who was boss. Webb blamed this on Bush, stating that if Bush had not started the Iraq war, his son wouldn’t now be fighting the Chinese.

Hillary Clinton and Jack Murtha argued for days about whether to fight the Chinese, but it didn’t matter. The troops took it upon themselves to fight alongside the Japanese troops. President Hillary was relieved the troops decided on their own to fight. That way she could not be blamed for another war and the anti-war movement would be mollified for many years, so she thought.

President Hillary did proclaim that the soldiers who were fighting would receive dishonorable discharges for defaming our country if they ever got back to the States. Jack Murtha stated that the soldiers were murderers and no troops under him would ever attack an enemy. He was completely appalled by their actions and told the Chinese government to just shoot our soldiers on sight. He said there were no rules of engagement by which the Chinese would be held. He also told the Chinese to throw any POWs into cells and starve them to death. Murtha stated that no fighting solder deserved a square meal in his opinion.

Anyway, getting back to the breakout, with the help of the Patriots group, Joe and other prisoners stormed the commandant’s quarters and beat Webb to death. His bludgeoned body was catapulted over the prison fence and stray dogs tore it from limb to limb and ate it. The savaging of his body was only after it had cooled down. You see, part of his body hit the electrical fence and he was electrocuted. His body writhed and jumped at each shock. Goshawk and Buck said the screams were music to their ears, piercing the night like the sounds of sirens at 3am.

Unfortunately, Chuck Schumer escaped, but he will be hunted down and justice will prevail at a later date.

This is the way things are right now. There is no rule of the land, no law. Complete anarchy reigns. Besides, the dogs need to eat. We can’t waste good beef on the dogs in times like these. We have found that instead of burying the traitors of our country, feeding them to the dogs is by far more economical, saving us the need to gather more food for the dogs.

Goshawk and expressit told us that Joe and the other prisoners were joining up with GunnyG and other vets who were searching all across the country to a call to arms. These good men hoped to some day get our government back to what the Founding Fathers meant for us. I was proud that Joe would fight with these men.

Oh, yes, lest I forget, John F. Kerry lies in an unmarked grave. Thereeeeeza never showed up for the funeral. In her gratitude to the townspeople for burying him, she did send hundreds of cartons of ketchup, tomato juice, and tomato soup. These were hoarded and buried for future use.

First the townspeople put a headstone on his grave, but it was impossible to keep people from defacing it. The scrawls were starting to blend together whereupon you could no longer read the original epitaph in the form of a poem written by no other than one of our patriotic citizens,

Here lies Jon F’n Cary,
Never mind unfit for command,
This traitor is unfit to bury,
In this greatest of Lands.

….to be continued