Chapter XIII

May 1, 2009

PappyMichael from our Virginia Headquarters notified us that the ships they saw off the coast are Australian. The ships finally came into port at Norfolk, carrying
troops, food, water, medicines, plenty of more guns and ammo, and other supplies.

Being a continent unto itself the Australians were not affected as much by the carnage that was going on in Eurabia, the Middle East, China, and Russia. According to the Aussies, we received reports on the following events that have occurred since we have been without communication. There is much to tell.

On March 20, 2009, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad gave a special news conference where he stated that his heart ached for the now extinct Israeli people. He said it was a mystery as to who would have nuked the Israelis, but surely the Great Satan, America, must have done it. Mahmoud said that the Great Satan was then punished with fire raining down in many cities. God punished America for destroying the Jews and he would pray for all the people in America who were left wondering about this great disaster. The crowds in Iran were left with nothing to cheer since “death to America” was now redundant. Instead Ahmedinejad led the crowds in his new mantra, “America is dead”.

Then, he sent a special message to the people of England and Germany, saying, “Fool you once shame on me, fool you twice shame on you.”

No one in Britain understood the message. The Brits laughed at his folksy joke and went about their business as usual. The common gossip among the Brits over Mahmoud’s press conference was how the Americans had become so antagonistic, so imperialistic, so blood thirsty, that they would stoop to nuking their ally, Israel. How did this happen? The Brits just shook their heads and their tongues clicked away about the once so ferocious America.

Many were sure America’s 2^nd Amendment had caused the once generous America to become a vicious force, overrun with armed savages willing to kill anyone in their way. Why they were all a bunch of immoral cowboys who had voted twice for that moron cowboy Bush and they just followed lock step into this pugnacious dictator’s machinations. Other Brits concluded that America had nuked Israel as a setup to start another war. They were always up to something like that but they were shocked that Hillary would do it. But, as some Brits recalled Hillary was full of dirty tricks herself.

In Germany, they talked about how they had never trusted us really. And, having our soldiers there all those years had been a deep humiliation. They expelled our military from their country once they heard Ahmedinejad statement that America must have nuked Israel. The Germans prattled away about how America was never able to settle for appeasement and that we have always been a rabid nation. They wondered to themselves why America would nuke Israel, but they came to the conclusion that it was a setup to try to blame Iran or another Islamic group for the crime. The Americans were famous for doing this but this time it had backfired on them.

But, who set off dirty bombs in America if this was a setup? The Germans concluded that Hillary must have done it to convince the American people that there still were terrorists in this world. The Germans shook their heads in pity at how silly and naïve the Americans have always been and this time they really took a bad fall for their stupidity. Other Germans spoke of how it didn’t make any sense that Hillary would set this up. She didn’t believe in terrorism, but others gossiped that Hillary was having deep rooted problems politically in America and this was a diversion she had created. Whatever the reason the Germans expected as much from nation as combative and contentious as America.

Two days later both England and Germany were nuked into oblivion.

France folded immediately upon seeing England and Germany nuked. Who would come to their rescue? There was no one left who liked them that much. Even though the Americans always saved them in the past, the newspapers wrote, the Americans had stopped liking them altogether. And, if America were still up and functioning who was to believe they would bail us out this time? Who had any military force? Indeed even we, the French don’t have a military, wrote Le Parisienne.

The police force in Paris bombarded the French Parliament, protesting since they had been fighting a war against Muslim radicals in the suburbs of Paris for years now with no real equipment. It seems the French didn’t have a dimocrap party to constantly screech that their police didn’t have enough armor. Besides that the regular citizens didn’t care that the police were being attacked on a daily basis. As long as none of it effected their 11am starting times at work and their 3 hour lunch breaks starting at noon, why should they care?

Now, the Muslim radicals were burning down everything in sight. The Eiffel Tower lay in ruins, nothing more than a jungle gym of steel bars piled on top of one another. The Champs Elycee no longer a stroll for lovers, but one of warriors.

Fashion run ways were abolished replaced by models in burkas in an array of colors for an all season wardrobe. The one good thing, and we all look for the silver lining, was that the models no longer had to be a size 000, but a normal size woman. Well, at least you couldn’t tell under those layers of robes. New Muslims pouring into France immediately headed for the Virgin Megastores believing they could buy virgins there without having to blow themselves up. Imagine the disappointment only to find just more capitalist goods.

Soon the Champs Elysee was lined with shops in the Islamic tradition. There was Mustafa’s designs for clothing, Ferrani’s bakery, Sariyah’s bedding, and Faquh’s legal services. A group which was likened to the ACLU was established, only it was the Societal Council for Altruistic Muslims, dubbed SCAM. Any Parisians, such as the Givenchy, Gucci, and Versace design houses who wished to protest their businesses being overtaken had to appear before SCAM and plead their cases. Most cases were thrown out and the pleading parties were beheaded. SCAM had become a much feared organization across France.

Iran has taken over the entire Middle East, including Pakistan. Ahmedinejad had only three nukes so he needed the Pakistani nukes to threaten anyone else in his way. As soon as Iran took Pakistan, India was nuked and obliterated. The corpse of bin Laden was brought out of hiding and paraded in the streets of Islamabad. Even though the body was unrecognizable and stunk so bad people had to wear extra burkas and turbans to keep from gagging, the crowds cheered.

China nuked all of Korea. The report given to Pappy was that China was sick of fooling around with the little pederast and his flinging dud missiles into the air. They had been sick of him for a long time, but he served China’s purpose to aggravate us like a fishbone stuck in our toe. Besides that he was a complete embarrassment to all those of Oriental descent with that weird hairdo. With America down, China had no patience or use for Kim Ding Dong any longer. And, China stated that if the north goes so does the south. By getting rid of the entire country they had solved a lot of problems.

Japan had to surrender to China. With all the fighting and bombs going off everywhere it became apparent they couldn’t win. The last thing Japan wanted was for China to nuke them. China had used conventional bombs so far, but Japan was not willing to risk it since sending up nukes these days was like punting footballs.

Most of our troops are still in Okinawa and we don’t know what fate lies before them. The Aussies are going to try to get them out, but it will be a risky and daring adventure.

Putin had declared himself the Czar of Russia shortly after the dirty bombs hit us. He has been dubbed Ivan the Terrible II. Blood runs dark and red in the streets of Russia. Many of the citizens of Russia have died of poisoning. The gulags are back up and running for political prisoners. Czar Putin has retaken all the countries that broke away, such as Hungary, Bulgaria, Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Romania among a few, and the Stans are back under Russian rule.

Russia, Iran, and China have formed a somewhat uneasy alliance, as none of them trusts the other too much in this state of affairs.

Iran has been establishing the caliphate throughout the ME. Russia however, is none too keen on this caliphate idea. China is none too happy about the Russians sitting at their border not knowing what country Russia will seize next to add to its’ plunder. Russia is not happy that China nuked Korea, not knowing if they could be next.

The Russians are sick of China’s little fake Ming jars and plates being imported there too. China had to find another market for their cheap goods since we are not importing at the moment. The Russians are having the same problems we once had. The cheap Chinese clothes are always two sizes too small and they fall apart in the washing machines. Czar Putin would like to ban the imports but fears the Chinese rage if he did so.

Besides Russian goods are now so expensive only the czar and his compatriots can afford them. The poor Russian people stand in lines at the Chin-O-Marts to buy cheap, thin clothing and foods with wheat gluten. Part of the poison deaths could be attributed to the Chinese wheat gluten. There is much debate within the country as to who is really to blame for all the poison deaths.

Well, never mind the mess going on in the rest of the world; we need to keep marching forward on our mission here. We have made great progress so far and we don’t intend to stop until we have all the devils rounded up, either imprisoned or killed. From the reports we receive from Celtic Dragon, our great spy and intelligence informant, there are still plenty of socialists at large. GunnyG is still hunting and finding socialists killing them with his great sniper abilities. Some socialists never learn to keep their mouths shut and should fear the hand of GunnyG.

The Aussies are going to help us clear out the remaining Socialists and Muslims still left wandering the country. They are limited on resources however and can only offer us about 600 troops. Pappy Michael who is the CO of the Southeastern district HQ will coordinate the placement of these troops in strategic trouble spots within the US.

There is always a silver lining to be found among the dark clouds. We find that the Aussies are still our friends and ally and never did believe Mahmoud Ahmedinejad when he told the world we nuked Israel. We find that intelligent life still exists on earth.

And, we need never worry again, if we ever get back up and running that our jobs will be out sourced to India.

…….to be continued……