Chapter XIV

May 5, 2009

Within the walls of the Institution for the Insane Socialists, the IIS, many unsanctioned activities have been discovered and reported.

Cindy Sheehan has been caught several times in Jimmy Carter’s room underneath the blankets with him. The orderlies who caught them reported that Cindy was cooing into Jimmy’s half-deaf ears that she could be his little bunny rabbit that he keeps calling for in his unhinged moments. Jimmy, half demented, apparently believes for some moments that indeed there is a rabbit next to him, so he was seen cuddling the Cindy. But, once his momentary lapse in memory function was restored, no one within the facility could calm the screaming man down. Shots of thorazine were the only answer. Poor Jimmy. Even he, as feckless and incompetent as he once was, doesn’t deserve that kind of cruel and unusual punishment. Mind you, not the shots, but becoming aware that the gun running Chavez woman, Sheehan was actually in bed with you.

Many of the socialists housed at IIS are not public figures. We have jailed many ordinary citizens who are socialists, but who continued to make trouble for the Patriots and their mission to re-establish this country’s foundation.

Some of these citizens, such as Kimberly, youmakemelaugh, shrew, and Bradford, just to name a few of these ornery socialists, have been known to wreak havoc at IIS. It seems they, not unlike little children, like to play pranks on the inmates. Just the usual simple things, like hiding toilet paper, stealing inmates’ clothing from the showers while people are bathing, taping dorm rooms shut, those sorts of things played by your average college kids. Nothing really harmful.

However, some have broken out of IIS and the Patriots are searching for them. Bradford broke out several days ago by knocking a guard over the head with Jimmy Carter’s bedpan, grabbing his gun, and taking off. After getting freed, he threw the gun away but kept the bedpan. One never knew when one would have another use for such a thing.

Reports coming into HQ are that Bradford was spotted loitering around the Obama carnival. He even was playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey game. After Charlie Rangel was shot and killed, Obama needed a replacement for this particular game in their carnival. Carl Levin was seen doddering around the woods one day when Sharpton and Jackson grabbed him bringing him into the fold.

Carl Levin was delighted knowing he would get a square meal each day, even if it did consist of a little morsel of frog meat and perhaps an occasional scoop of beans.

Needless to say, when it comes to these socialists there was a slight accident that occurred. One night while Bradford was playing Pin the Tail, he realized he could never get that darned thing to stick to Levin. Being that old Carl was a former dimocrap and socialist, having anything stick to him was a rare thing. Things slid off these socialists like sap running down a maple tree on a hot day.

So, Brad found an old nail lying about the woods and decided to use that and of course, stuck it into Levin’s butt. The tail stuck that night! Levin’s glasses torpedoed through the woods as he yelped and screamed rolling on the ground causing the old rusty nail to be driven further into his massive buttocks.

Jesse Jackson screamed, “Holy God in heaven”, this Pin the Tail on the Donkey game is the unluckiest game anyone has ever played! Jackson talked it over with McAuliffe, BO, and Sharpton telling them they would need to find another form of entertainment for the crowd than this hexed game. And, they had thought that Mrs. Obama wrestling the bears would have been the most dangerous thing in their show. Of all things for this child like game to become such a menace was beyond belief!

Meanwhile, Levin was still flailing around on the ground, shrieking for help from anyone to come get the darned nail out of his butt. Someone in the crowd, seeing that Sharpton and company weren’t paying any attention came to Levin’s rescue and pulled the nail out. Unfortunately, Levin died later of tetanus. Towards the end of his life, with his jaw finally locked down, Levin frantically waved his arms trying to indicate he wanted a pen and paper to write his last words. But, no one understood his gesticulations and Levin died wordless, the first time in his entire life he couldn’t tell a lie.

Bradford escaped from the carnival area that night, but he didn’t get too far before he was nabbed by two of Israel’s finest Mossad agents, purplegimp and teadrinker. Before the dirty bombs went off they had been operating illegally in the US, but we Patriots were glad to have their services as they were most inclined to bring down socialists and radical Muslims.

Together, they grabbed him in the woods not far off a trail they had been searching. It was easy taking him down as all he had for protection was that bedpan.

Purplegimp and teadrinker transported Bradford down to Virginia where Pappy Michael was running a very effective center for eradicating socialist propaganda from their brains.

He already had his 5 requirements:

l. The socialist had to recite the pledge of allegiance to the flag.

2. Recite the Lord’s Prayer or any prayer for that matter.

3. Swear to uphold the Bible, belief in God and the Constitution in its’ original form.

4. Work in the Patriots freedom camps as restitution for being socialist.

5. Learn to use a gun.

Pappy Michael, purplegimp, and teadrinker escorted Bradford into the Socialist Brain Eradication Center, the SBEC, where many intransigent commies were convinced to forgo their socialist indoctrination and help restore them back to being Patriots. The program has been very effective and used only for those individuals deemed to somewhat have the ability to change their ways.

Pappy’s buddies, the Aussies chuckled as Brad was led into the center, howling the entire way saying, “You think you know me and 'my kind'--but you don't!” Pappy said to Brad “shut up you weird little turd and pull your head out!”

Brad was given his first assignment to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag. But, he couldn’t recite the whole thing. He claimed to be too traumatized over his evening at the carnival. Pappy told him that was no excuse and try again. Brad did try, but failed, saying he was hungry. Pappy said, “stop messin with me boy, now try again.” Brad failed and asked if they would run out and get him a Big Mac like they do on the cop shows. Pappy slammed him up against the side of his head with that damned bedpan. Brad fell unconscious onto the floor.

Later he awoke to find himself in a small locked cell. It was furnished with everything a socialist would need. There was a nice cot with a blanket, a toilet, a Bible on a small table, the Pledge of Allegiance and gun posters on the wall. As his eyes blinked into focus, he saw purplegimp and teadrinker standing in one shadowed corner of the cell waiting for him.

…….to be continued…….