Chapter XIX

June 16, 2009

Since the old cannon that Moore was strapped to was a favorite perching place for birds, he awoke to find himself the harbinger of quite a few of them and their droppings. In fact, one or maybe several birds that perched on his head had left their droppings in one of Moore’s eyes. Moore looked around him with one eye coming out of his semi-coma state, trying to recall how he had gotten into this grotesque position.

His nose hurt from Raging Bunny’s punch and everything else ached on his prodigious frame. With a start he realized the dogs were gone, it was morning, and he had lived through the night. Momentarily he was elated thinking about the horrors of being ripped into shreds by those dogs and it had not happened after all.

He needed a good breakfast. He started drooling picturing in his mind a plate with a pound of bacon, sausage, a dozen biscuits, and eggs piled high and, how about some of that Virginia ham too, a couple of pounds of that Virginia ham piled on top of that plate would make his day and quell his hunger.

Pappy was standing in front of him. “Did you have a good night”, asked Pappy.
Moore looked up at the man, “I need some food you old goat. You just can’t starve a prisoner. It’s against my rights as a citizen of these United States.” Pappy laughed so hard Moore was sure he felt the ground shake. “So, now you’re a citizen? How nice and convenient. Where was this loyalty to our country before this?"

Moore, a little unnerved by Pappy’s sarcasm said, “I’ve always been a citizen. I never said anything other than that.  I just disagreed with the violent right wing murderers in this country. That is my right, to disagree under the First Amendment and say whatever I want. I'm a patriot and if I don't like something my country is doing it's my duty to report and tell the truth."

“Well, you went a tad bit too far sonny. And, now you get to pay up for all your treasonous acts.”   Pappy continued on, “Its one thing to disagree with your fellow countrymen, but to make films that are outright lies and propaganda against your own country in a time of war is aiding and abetting the enemy. You, sir, are a traitor. You a Patriot, my arse!"

Pappy was joined by teadrinker, Purplegimp, Nee, and Raging Bunny who worked on untying Moore. They weren’t even going to try to elicit out of him who had the film. It wasn’t worth it. Their spies would come across the information at some point.

Crawfish and his band of Poll Katz, Terri, Nazz, Ron, Bill, and Ginny were going to transport Moore back to Tennessee to meet his demise. Since the Poll Katz were a crack group we were more than certain Moore would arrive safely. The rest of the agents at the SBEC and other Patriots would be accompanying them to witness his execution.  Patriots  from all over  were traveling  to Tennessee to witness the execution of one of the  country's  biggest  traitors.

On arriving in Tennessee, Chief Justice Ann Coulter (Mrs. GunnyG) declared that Moore be hung.
The scaffolding had already been prepared. A block and tackle with a winch was already in place to hold the corpulent Moore as he was hanging.

Moore was brought to the scaffold and pushed up the steps by the Poll Katz, GunnyG, Paulie, xpressit, J-Dawg and WilliBeax. It took a lot of manpower to shove the jumbo Moore up those few short steps while he was kicking and screaming the entire way. At one point, he managed to knock Paulie down. Paulie jumped back up and busted Moore on the side of the head with his pistol. Crawfish kicked him in the butt where he had been previously shot.

Moore was asked if he wanted a preacher of any sort before he met his maker. Moore refused saying it would only mean he had bought into some Christian right wing zealot’s idea of salvation. He didn’t believe in that poppycock he said. He also declared a pox on the house of the Patriots.

The noose was placed around his neck and the floor board dropped. Moore hung there squealing and kicking, when suddenly, due to his excess weight, the rope broke and Moore fell to the ground in a thunderous heap. The crowd burst out into a roar of shock as Moore lay on the ground. No one could believe what they had just witnessed. People started to laugh and choke over the dust that Moore’s massive fallen body had stirred up.

A totally disgusted Chief Justice Ann declared they would just drown him instead.

He was taken to the nearby river, where GunnyG, Crawfish, Xpressit, Paulie, Ch47jockey, and WilliBeax held him in place and pushed him under the water. Try as they did, they couldn’t get him submerged. It was like trying to put a basketball under water. Every time all six men tried to hold him down, he would just pop back up out of the water. Over and over they worked, getting on top of him to hold him down, but he would roll like an empty log off to the side and pop back up elsewhere. Then the men would have to swim to the place where he had popped back up. The men were becoming exhausted with the work of it.

Chief Justice Ann who was watching the ordeal ordered the men to bring Moore up out of the water and they would execute him another way. She did not want his death to be a quick or painless one though.

As Moore was drug out of the water, he started screaming that Chris Matthews was the one who had his film and was hiding out in Rochester. Chris had escaped the dirty bomb in New York the day it blew up because he was at home sick with yellow spine disease.

Moore threw himself at Chief Justice Ann’s feet begging her to get it over with quickly. He pleaded with her that he confessed who had his tape and where he was. Didn’t he deserve a speedy death now? I want a lethal injection so I can go peacefully," he cried.

Chief Justice Ann told him to stop blubbering like a twit and shut up. "Look", she said, "You
chanted for years that Bush lied, people died. Now we all know you lied and it's time for you
to die."

The Patriots pretended to locate a lethal injection for Moore. They told him the dose was way too low to put him down and they would have to scavenge several warehouses to find enough of the drug.

GunnyG suggested to his wife, Chief Justice Ann that they could use rat poisoning on him. They decided they would just use the poison on him tonight and allow him to believe he was getting a lethal injection in the morning. As Crawfish had said many times, why waste ammunition on him. If all you're gonna do is kill a rat, do it the way rats are usually killed.

Chief Justice Ann told Moore they would let him rest for the night and bring him whatever food he requested and plenty of it. Moore asked for a several plates of food. He wanted that breakfast he thought about earlier and he wanted dinner too. He asked them to bring him a pork roast, with plenty of potatoes and biscuits. He told Ann he would like some pie afterwards. Ann told him he was a complete moron to think anyone was going to bake a pie for him.

Not long after, Moore received his first plate of food with the pounds of bacon, ham and sausage with biscuits he had wanted earlier. He thought the biscuits were a little bitter but the guards, Crawfish and the Poll Katz assured him it was due to the lack of proper ingredients to make a good biscuit. They told him he was lucky to get a dozen of them as they all had to sacrifice theirs to him. They all looked at one another with smirks on their faces. Moore was too busy shoveling food into his mouth to notice.

After woofing that plate of food down, which was actually served in an old wash tub, Moore laid back on his humble cot with a huge smile on his face. About fifteen minutes later he asked Crawfish where his next plate of food was. He was still hungry he said.

Purplegimp brought his next wash tub of food filled to the brim with mostly potatoes, biscuits, and a little bit of pork. They had already wasted too much food on him in her mind. Moore woofed it down and asked for more. Purplegimp told him they were out of food for him now and he would just have to make due with what he got. Besides, she told him, I think you will find you’ve had enough by now.

He asked them when the lethal injection would be given and if they had found enough of the drugs to put him down peacefully. Purplegimp assured him that his time was near and that indeed, they had found plenty of something to accompany him to the gates of hell.

Moore started to laugh when suddenly his whole body began to spasm starting from his head. His head bobbed back and forth. His whole body started to convulse into unbelievable contortions for a man his size. The convulsions became so horrible his back was arching out of control. His cot tipped over and Moore rolled out onto the concrete floor of his cell.  Moore tried to scream but it was a stuttering, jagged yell. He looked at Purplegimp and tried to point to his throat. Purplegimp laughingly asked him if he had something stuck there. Moore tried but failed to shake his head. He had no control over any of his muscles at this point. Moore’s convulsing body danced all over the floor, jerking in one direction to the other. All the Patriots in the room had to flatten themselves up against the walls in order not to be hit by the flailing body.

Needless to say for the next 2 hours, Moore’s death was a hideous one. Only the most hardened military folks who were used to deaths in the field were able to stand by and watch. GunnyG and DavidMac, two of our crack snipers, watched as Moore approached his final gasp, no longer able to breathe with his neural pathways paralyzed. Moore took his last gasp and died in the dead cockroach position.

The Patriots had to bury the mammoth Moore so they worked through the night digging a hole big enough and deep enough so that the dogs would not dig it up and try to eat the strychnine laden carcass. On top of that they had to break his arms and legs to get his body out of that cockroach position. J-Dawg and Paulie gladly busted his appendages. To entertain themselves during this odious chore, the men sang an old song by the Sonics from the 60’s, called Strychnine:

Some folks like water
Some folks like wine
But I like the taste
Of straight strychnine (hey, hey)

You may think it's funny
That I like this stuff
But once you've tried it
You can't get enough (Wow!)

Wine is red
Poison is blue
Strychnine is good
For what's ailin' you

If you listen to what I say
You'll try strychnine some day
Make you jump, it'll make you shout
It'll even knock you out

 
In the morning, Paulie, xpressit, and J-Dawg, along with Crawfish and the Poll Katz set out for upper New York State to hunt down and capture the bellicose Chris Matthews who used to have a TV talk show called Hardball. The show had always been a rotten, liberal biased one with no real substance. If a guest was a Patriot, Matthews would ask the questions and answer them himself. No one ever could figure out why he even had guests on his show.

Now, if he was interviewing one of the socialists he would give them a wide berth to talk the entire show. And, this is how his show came to be known as PuffBall. After some time Matthews himself became known as PuffBall. When New York City blew up, not one of his 23 viewers even missed it.

Puffball had no idea what was in store for him. If he had any inclination he would be under his bed shaking in his pajamas. He was known for his cowardice. He cried like a baby when the Patriots captured Jimmy Carter. PuffBall wanted to be near his beloved anti-Semite but he just didn’t have the courage to turn himself into the IIS. Instead he had holed up in Rochester, New York where he thought the Patriots would never find him. As usual his thinking skills failed him.

 ……….to be continued……..